Current:Home > ContactDavid Sedaris on why you should dress like a corpse -FundCenter
David Sedaris on why you should dress like a corpse
View
Date:2025-04-17 05:53:32
I went to a play the other night and thought, wait, is this a Broadway theater or a Home Depot? An honest mistake, as my fellow audience members were dressed to harvest crops and drain septic tanks.
Was there a sign on the door demanding that people at least wear shirts, or was it just a coincidence that no one was bare-chested? I mean, cargo shorts and flip-flops, to the theater!
I know we're living in a different age: "Who are you to tell me how to dress for a night out?" But if this wasn't a special occasion, what was? Making an effort shows respect to the performers, and to your fellow audience members.
I attended a murder trial in Arizona once where the mother of the accused took the stand in cut-off shorts and a "Ghostbusters" T-shirt. And again, you really couldn't find anything better in your closet?
In the past if I was going somewhere special, I'd put on a tie, but my ideas of evening wear have changed over the years.
"Those look … ahem ... comfortable," people tell me, wincing at the culottes I pair with knee socks in cold weather. And I'm like, "You do know that you can just say nothing, right?" When did that become any kind of a compliment?
The mark of an adult used to be that you could be mildly uncomfortable for vast stretches of time. You'd put on a suit and a real pair of shoes and somehow manage to work for eight hours. Then, maybe, you'd change into something even more restricting and go out to dinner.
Now we need to be comfortable all the time, and for every occasion.
Except, oddly, when we're dead!
Go to an open-casket funeral and the corpse is pretty much always the best-dressed person in the room. Often it'll be the first time the person has ever worn a suit, or the first time in ages. Beautiful dresses, hair done just so.
If I ran a Broadway theater, that's what I would demand of the audience: Dress like you're about to be buried, or reduced to ashes in a kiln.
And, of course, turn off your phones.
For more info:
- davidsedarisbooks.com
- "Happy-Go-Lucky" by David Sedaris (Little, Brown), in Hardcover, Trade Paperback, eBook and Audio formats, available via Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Bookshop.org
Story produced by Amy Wall. Editor: Emanuele Secci.
More from David Sedaris:
- Beware, restaurants: David Sedaris espouses "heganism"
- Hey, Boss, David Sedaris wants to correct you
- On coming out, all over again
- On Alaska, land of eagles and no neckties
- David Sedaris looks into his crystal ball
- Humorist David Sedaris has diverse opinions about on-screen representation
- Taking a stand on giving up a seat
- David Sedaris demands the right to fire others
- David Sedaris vs. nail polish
veryGood! (4)
Related
- Intel's stock did something it hasn't done since 2022
- Elon Musk sends vulgar message to advertisers leaving X after antisemitic post
- Idaho baby found dead by police one day after Amber Alert, police say father is in custody
- Tori Spelling and Her Kids Have a Family Night Out at Jingle Ball 2023
- Where will Elmo go? HBO moves away from 'Sesame Street'
- Are FTC regulators two weeks away from a decision on Kroger's $25B Albertsons takeover?
- Chinese developer Evergrande risking liquidation if creditors veto its plan for handling huge debts
- Judith Kimerling’s 1991 ‘Amazon Crude’ Exposed the Devastation of Oil Exploration in Ecuador. If Only She Could Make it Stop
- 'Most Whopper
- The Excerpt podcast: The temporary truce between Israel and Hamas is over
Ranking
- Trump invites nearly all federal workers to quit now, get paid through September
- The Best Gifts For The Coffee, Tea & Matcha Lover Who Just Needs More Caffeine
- Knicks' Mitchell Robinson invites his high school coach to move in with him after coach's wife died
- US Navy says it will cost $1.5M to salvage jet plane that crashed on Hawaii coral reef
- Military service academies see drop in reported sexual assaults after alarming surge
- 'House of the Dragon' Season 2 first look: new cast members, photos and teaser trailer
- Vote count begins in 4 Indian states pitting opposition against premier Modi ahead of 2024 election
- Florida Republican chairman won’t resign over rape allegation, saying he is innocent
Recommendation
Romantasy reigns on spicy BookTok: Recommendations from the internet’s favorite genre
7 suspected illegal miners dead, more than 20 others missing in landslide in Zambia
Pope Francis says he’s doing better but again skips his window appearance facing St. Peter’s Square
Blake Lively Shares Her Thoughts on Beyoncé and Taylor Swift Aligning
NHL in ASL returns, delivering American Sign Language analysis for Deaf community at Winter Classic
Jingle All the Way to Madewell’s Holiday Gift Sale with Deals Starting at Only $20
32 female athletes file lawsuit against Oregon citing Title IX violations
The Best Gifts For The Coffee, Tea & Matcha Lover Who Just Needs More Caffeine